Tuesday, December 21, 2010


by: R.A. Slater
sometime in 1999 or 2000

I'm stuck in the middle
Too old to be young
Too young to be old
Too young to be a leader
Too old to be taught forever
I'm not sure how to act
Someone always tells me I don't behave
Or that I'm not appropriate or behooving
My wrongs are highlighted before my rights
My accomplishments are too small for anyone to care
Who I am meant to be is clear to me
As impossible as it may seem, though mankind is opposed

"Dress this way, Don't wear that,
Your hair is too long, It is too short,
Walk this way, go that way, Stay out of my way,
Stand over here, Sit down and be quiet,
I love you, I hate you
Come talk to me, Don't talk to me!
March to the beat of your own drummer, Be like me!
Don't address the assembly, Come and testify!
Shoot for the stars, Don't dare to dream!
Your dreams are foolish, You'll never succeed,
You'll never be anything different from what you've been,
Change, change, change! You are no good!
You expect to little, You expect too much."
There is no inbetween, but that is where I'm stuck
I'm stuck in non-existance, told to leave, told to stay

God tells me something different, so I will not doubt
He tells me I am holy, and righteous
Set apart and chosen by Him
He tells me I am precious, special and unique
He tells me He is going to raise me up as a testimony to others,
Though I do not know how He means to do so, or truly what it means
I want so much for my dreams to come true
I want so much for them not to be vain imaginations
Who am I to lead? I am not qualified or worthy,
They will see only me, and not the One who sent me
But who am I to doubt my Savior's word?
I am only to obey
There is a saying,
"God doesn't call the qualified, He qualified the called."
In that I qualify, for I have heard His voice calling me

He will lead me out, He will be my qualification, He won't confuse me
He will set me free from this limbo so I might be who I was meant to be
He doesn't ignore, condemn, or turn away
His words are trustworthy and true
He will never leave me nor forsake me, never hang me out to dry
He will not fail me or ever tell me a lie
Though in this life I am stuck inbetween,
There is no doubt of eternity
He will see me through and I will break through
Break through the soapscum of sinful humanity
Break through the misgivings of saved humanity
Break through the mistreatment of them all
I will not doubt, I will not give up
Because my Savior has faith in me
He never has, nor ever will, give up on me.

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