Monday, October 31, 2011

Vain Imaginations

Vain Imaginations
By: R. A. Slater

The promises of God are “yes and amen”
But unless they are written in His Word
The whispers you think you hear
Are most likely vain imaginations
God never promised me home and hearth
Children playing at my feet
He never promised me fame or world acclaim
Or publishers clamoring for my next book
He never promised me a beautiful life
Free of thorn and thistle
They were vain assumptions I made
Thinking I heard His voice
When they were only my wants and desires
Hearing only what I wanted
Surely He has more important matters
Than one woman's broken heart over lost dreams
Fates of nations and leaders
The lost, the hungry, the ill
The broken, the abandoned and abused
Surely He is mad enough for adding to that number
As am I for wishing such a thing
Even though I believe a good mother I would be
He must think differently
For my womb is barren
As is my heart, empty and cold
Perhaps He has a grander plan
Or perhaps it's been delayed
But I cannot see it
Though I squint and strain
I cannot bare to hope anymore
For it only brings more pain
To keep hearing heaven's “No”
We can't all have our prayers answered “yes”
What a mess that would be
We can't all be Hannah
Some must walk the harder path
Though we stumble and fall
Sometimes becoming lost in the briars
One thing he HAS promised
In this we must trust
He promised never to leave nor forsake us
Even when we wander off
He remains by our side even then
Refusing to pick up a stone when we fall
Helping us to our feet instead
And giving us strength to go on

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

In Every Wretched Heartbeat

In Every Wretched Heartbeat
by: R.A. Slater

Oh, wretched woman that I am
That such innocent beauty
Should cause me pain and heartache
Instead of the joy and wonder
She was meant to bestow
A tiny bundle sent into the world
But she is not mine
Another holds her
Tiny fingers curled tight
Dainty eyes closed in sleep
At peace with the world
Though it rages around her
I cannot help but long
For a bundle of my own
But I have long ago given up hope
It is not mine to have
It is not mine to hold
So I look on at others' joy
Trying not to show the pain
Making myself numb
Needing to be numb
I cannot feel this pain
Though it is all encompassing
In every breathe I draw
In every wretched heartbeat

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Time Stands Still

Time Stands Still
by: R.A. Slater

The clock hits 2pm
And time stands still
Dragging and drawing each moment out
As every man and woman “on the clock”
Waits for the tick to tock
Till they can punch the time card
And run out the door to blessed freedom
Free for a few hours
To play and to chore
Until the morning doth reappear
And once more they drag themselves
Kicking, screaming, resigned
Back into the den of servitude
For bills to pay
Families to feed
And toys to buy
An endless cycle
As sure as death and taxes