In a Moment

In a Moment

By: R. A. Slater

03/28/13

Caught up in life’s happenings

I try in vain to keep up

So many things to do

So many places to see

I quite lose my breath

As a deluge threatens to drown me

A cyclone daring to stir up

A cacophony of cries

People demanding my attention

And my precious time

For when do I have time

To get caught up in a moment

And listen to the faint whisper

Of the woman I am inside

For failure to do so is my demise

The ceasing of a heartbeat

The Trouble Is I Work Full Time

The Trouble Is I Work Full Time
by: R.A. Slater
4/27/2012

The trouble is
I work full time
Bills to pay
Needs to take care of
Never enough money
Or time or energy
Boring days that drag
With too many thoughts
Floating in my head
Poems wanting to take form
Stories begging to be written
It leaves me tired
And hurting
Sometimes unable to write
Yet I must soldier on
Until I'm ready to cry

Disappointment

Disappointment
by: R.A. Slater
4/22/2012

I called you expecting understanding
A sympathetic ear to help me plan
And for a moment I was delighted
Knowing of your past troubles with the matter
For that moment I felt encouraged
I didn't feel alone anymore
But then you turned the tables on me
With your negativity
And it all came back to me
The overwhelming sensation
Of carrying the burden on my own
Knowing that if I fail
You will be quick to condemn
Though you did not help
But I guess my shoulders will be wide enough
To handle even that
It appears I have no choice
But to keep on trucking
Even if I am alone

Jigsaw

Jigsaw
by: R.A. Slater
4/15/2012

A tiny thoudand pieces
Floating in my head
They fit together somehow
Like a convoluted jigsaw puzzle
Scrambling my brain with its smooth edges
I know that if I just relax
The pieces will click together with ease
But jigsaws have always been my bane
Unless they were the easy ones
Edges and corners blurring into one
Colors and patterns swirling
Until I can see nothing
And walk away in frustration
Only to be consumed by obsession
Returning once again
To turn the puzzle pieces over
To examine them anew
Waiting for them to come together
As I know they will

No story

No story
by: R.A. Slater
11/28/11

I sit with the paper
Snow white on the table before me
The pen I hold in my hand
Poised and ready
But nothing comes
There is only silence
Where words once flowed
Like water from the sky
But now there is not even a mist
The characters that once crowded my head
Are now frozen mid frame
Awaiting their next action, next sentence, next heartbeat
And I cannot give it to them
Their stories halted until a time I cannot see
How I long to tell stories again

Hidden Prayer

Hidden Prayer
by: R.A. Slater
06/09/11

Hide the bruises, ignore the pain
Pray it never happens again
They say I'm foolish to forgive
And naive to hope against the odds
But I pray on anyways
Ever wondering why
Why him, why me
Why the viscious circle
Had to cycle down to our generation
Let it die, let it end
Let it never happen again
Oh, Changer of hearts
Renew our spirits
Let Your grace and mercy flow in
Your blood was not shed for nothing
But for problems like these
Work Your "magic" in us
So all might see
And marvel at Your changing power
I pray on, in the hidden dark
Trusting that You can do all things
Like Your Word says

Choices

Choices
by: R.A. Slater
01/21/11

Do I follow?
This man I do not know
What might lay
On the path he takes?
Should I stay where I'm at?
Wander back the way I've come?
So many choices
Life has to offer
Risks and rewards
Which is greater
I must decide
And quickly too
Before the chance to follow
Is too late to take
As he gets farther and farther away
I must make my choice...

See pic at this post

Limbo

Limbo
by: R.A. Slater
sometime in 1999 or 2000

I'm stuck in the middle
Too old to be young
Too young to be old
Too young to be a leader
Too old to be taught forever
I'm not sure how to act
Someone always tells me I don't behave
Or that I'm not appropriate or behooving
My wrongs are highlighted before my rights
My accomplishments are too small for anyone to care
Who I am meant to be is clear to me
As impossible as it may seem, though mankind is opposed

"Dress this way, Don't wear that,
Your hair is too long, It is too short,
Walk this way, go that way, Stay out of my way,
Stand over here, Sit down and be quiet,
I love you, I hate you
Come talk to me, Don't talk to me!
March to the beat of your own drummer, Be like me!
Don't address the assembly, Come and testify!
Shoot for the stars, Don't dare to dream!
Your dreams are foolish, You'll never succeed,
You'll never be anything different from what you've been,
Change, change, change! You are no good!
You expect to little, You expect too much."
There is no inbetween, but that is where I'm stuck
I'm stuck in non-existance, told to leave, told to stay




God tells me something different, so I will not doubt
He tells me I am holy, and righteous
Set apart and chosen by Him
He tells me I am precious, special and unique
He tells me He is going to raise me up as a testimony to others,
Though I do not know how He means to do so, or truly what it means
I want so much for my dreams to come true
I want so much for them not to be vain imaginations
Who am I to lead? I am not qualified or worthy,
They will see only me, and not the One who sent me
But who am I to doubt my Savior's word?
I am only to obey
There is a saying,
"God doesn't call the qualified, He qualified the called."
In that I qualify, for I have heard His voice calling me

He will lead me out, He will be my qualification, He won't confuse me
He will set me free from this limbo so I might be who I was meant to be
He doesn't ignore, condemn, or turn away
His words are trustworthy and true
He will never leave me nor forsake me, never hang me out to dry
He will not fail me or ever tell me a lie
Though in this life I am stuck inbetween,
There is no doubt of eternity
He will see me through and I will break through
Break through the soapscum of sinful humanity
Break through the misgivings of saved humanity
Break through the mistreatment of them all
I will not doubt, I will not give up
Because my Savior has faith in me
He never has, nor ever will, give up on me.

No Title

No Title
by: R.A. Slater
Circa 1998-2006 (again, something written during the First Baptist years that I have no date for!)

I have been forged in Fire, born again in Blood and Spirit
Been made strong through fire and water
As silver is refined so too has my soul been through the crucible
Like liquid gold Ihave been poured out before the Lord
Impurities He has scooped out with a net
And not a drop of glory was lost
As the blacksmith tempers his iron and steel with fire and water
So too has my heart been tempered
As clay on the potter's wheel, molded and crafted
His hands have been at work in me
And I have felt the heat of the kiln

I am so tired and weary
As I wonder if this work will ever be done
For it seems that as soon as one aspect is over
I find that I have just begun with another
When I have barely cooled from the fire of the blacksmith
I find myself in the crucible
When I think I am done in the crucible
I find myself on the potter's wheel
It seems as though I have reached the finish line
To find that I have only just begun to run the race
I do not know whether I have run before He was finished
Or whether there is more to do than I realized
Imperfections galore, I wonder if there is anything precious within me
Hiw word does say so, but I seem woefully lacking
Changes to be made for the better
Is there anything that can go untouched?

I am feeling quite attacked
By those who should be my defenders
Perhaps that is how the patient feels
When the doctor wields the scalpel
But right now I am in no mood
For metaphor and simile
I hurt and don't know why
I ache and cannot find the source
I am depressed and can't find the air pump!
The sliver is wedged in deep and all the flesh around it is tender
Which is where everyone wants to probe
It feels as though I am losing too much blood
And everyone insists that we continue to operate
And woe is me -
Despite my words
I just used a metaphor and a simile!
Is there no mercy? :)
If it weren't so sad, I would laugh
If it weren't so funny, I would cry
But it seems I can do neither

"You, who have shown me great and severe troubles,
Shall revive me again,
And bring me up again from the depths of the earth.
You shall increase my greatness,
And comfort me on every side." Psalm 71:20-21