Caught

Another old one.

Caught
by: R.A. Slater

How long it has been, Lord,
Since I have stood in the place of Your presence,
Where once we were inseperable.

It has been far too long,
For the memory of Your presence,
Is as a fading shadow in my mind.

You sought to shower me with blessings,
With a love far greater than I have ever known,
But I could not bring myself to trust You.

I could not surrender the very things that hindered,
For great was my unholy and irrational fears,
Of being torn apart and abandoned.

So I wandered far and wide,
Strayed from the path You set me on,
And have come to know the dark wilderness well.

In my pride and arrogance,
I sought to rebel against You,
Foolishly thinking that I could find what You offered elsewhere.

I ranted against heaven,
Poured out my anger and my ugliness,
And was answered with a gentle silence.

You could have thundered in anger and judgment,
You could have rained down hailstones of fire and brimstone,
But You did not.

In Your wisdom You let me rant and rave,
So that I could hear my own words echoing in the silence,
Allowed me to hear my own foolishness.

How small I felt, dirty and naked,
How ashamed of myself I was,
Yet You were never ashamed of me.

I sought to drown in my grief,
Determined to give up on myself,
In a vain attempt to give You permission to give up on me as well.

And You, in Your mercy refused,
Instead You showed Your abundant love,
And pointed me once again to the cross.

Where Love and Forgiveness
Met Sin and Death head on -
And won.

The place where I first met You,
Where we first danced,
Where first I knew Your peace.

There I first tasted freedom,
As I laid my burdens at the foot of the cross,
But it was just a taste, as I did not leave them there.

Your mercy is far greater than my imagination,
Your grace is far stronger than I first understood,
And Your love is more enduring than mine.

For You have shown me a vision greater than shackles and chains,
You have shown me what is possible if I lay my burdens down and leave them down,
And You have promised to help left those very burdens and shackles off of me.

You show me Your gentleness,
Your patience which far outlasts my own,
And You paid the price for my sin with Your own blood.

My fears You have eased,
My spirit You are gentling,
My heart You are winning.

You relentlessly pursued me in my wandering,
And with great gentleness You have caught me in Your strong arms,
And promised to never let go.